Hear ye, hear ye!
A call to arms for all Knights of Sufferlandria! Our great nation has been invaded by The Wretched Wahooligans! We must not let them be Getting Away With It! Probably, It Seemed Like a Good Idea At The Time to form a union, but their nation proved to be a Violator of our good faith. They want us to renounce our SUF Idol, steal our Cash Register, leaving us to do The Chores. Rookie mistake to fall for The Trick.
Hell Hath No Fury for our great nation, and rather than let them ruin The Best Thing In The World and let it disappear into Thin Air, we must summon our greatest Angels To Get To The Other Side. The best Defender is often an Attacker, thus you must Do As You Are Told and pick up The Shovel to generate a tsunami of lactic acid to flood them out, and smithe them with the Nine Hammers. There Is No Try!
Bring out The Bat, let them become The Hunted. We shall find The Way Out, bringing out our best Team Scream, scaring them into a Downward Spiral ending up in A Very Dark Place.
This epic battle, this Fight Club, will be remembered as the G.O.A.T. But it is not gonna be a Joyride, it will be a Long Scream. Not even Half is Easy, but confronted with the glorious suffering we will display, Who Dares attack again? That will be The Cure, and our Power Station will once again be able to safely distribute well earned Rechargers to the valiant citizens of Sufferlandria. It will be smooth as Butter!